Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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