I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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