haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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