So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize