I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
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we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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