he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
