guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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