I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize