He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
