She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
