Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
