Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
