a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize