Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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