He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
