I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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