Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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