These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
