Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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