How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
