Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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