no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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