using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize