i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
no, he came in my armpit
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
