You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
