Your tits are I can't wait for
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
