There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
