I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
