How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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