I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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