Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
