I'm lost and stupid without you.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize