its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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