Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so that wasnt chicken after all
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
