In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
