just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She's the barista slut.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
