He kissed a someone with a penis
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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