There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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