you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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