how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.