is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
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He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?