trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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