Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
