I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
