is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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