Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
