First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize