It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
