she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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