we have officially lost it.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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