Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You've changed since you got that strap on
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
