I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
