My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
