Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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