Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
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For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
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Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.