Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

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  (306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b
  Replies (8) Good night (2992) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i think i recognize dicks better than faces

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  (250): i think i recognize dicks better than faces http://tfl.nu/zcpp
  Replies (56) Good night (3767) Bad night (2842) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.

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  (724): Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted. http://tfl.nu/tz2e
  Replies (41) Good night (16607) Bad night (2163) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.

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  (207): I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat. http://tfl.nu/i3fj
  Replies (6) Good night (2402) Bad night (1418) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

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  (859): did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring http://tfl.nu/dlju
  Replies (24) Good night (12306) Bad night (1370) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

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  (778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT. http://tfl.nu/jn8b
  Replies (17) Good night (1143) Bad night (4057) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

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  (319): You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there http://tfl.nu/a5ka
  Replies (14) Good night (1088) Bad night (2927) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.

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  (518): Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea. http://tfl.nu/ytsg
  Replies (3) Good night (2467) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that

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  (845): I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that http://tfl.nu/j3rv
  Replies (7) Good night (1557) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.

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  (707): i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses. http://tfl.nu/z8lp
  Replies (2) Good night (1769) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men

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  (541): I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men http://tfl.nu/fivt
  Replies (14) Good night (833) Bad night (1693) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

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  (339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.

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  (717): This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy. http://tfl.nu/qoag
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.

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  (585): High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation. http://tfl.nu/xkfb
  Replies (0) Good night (640) Bad night (240) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me

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  (203): I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me http://tfl.nu/c2wo
  Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt

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