we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video