Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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