I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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