roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
People in love make me want to vomit
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When are your genitals available?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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